


Off The Road

by JohnAmendAll



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who (Big Finish Audio)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 20:52:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4891870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnAmendAll/pseuds/JohnAmendAll
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There had to be a better way of getting across America than cadging a lift in a jalopy that made the TARDIS look reliable.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Off The Road

**Author's Note:**

> From a borrowed meme prompt: 'Lucie, Eight and Clara on a road trip'

"Locking nut," Ozzie said. Her grease-stained hand emerged from underneath the Jeep, palm upward. 

Lucie searched in the toolbox and found the required part. Three days previously, she wouldn't have had a clue what a locking nut was, but by now she was far more familiar with the components of Ozzie's Jeep than she'd ever wanted to be. 

"Here you go," she said, crouching down beside the front of the vehicle and dropping the nut into Ozzie's outstretched hand. 

"Thanks." The hand closed over the nut and withdrew; there was a brief clinking sound. "Doctor, screwdriver." 

The sonic screwdriver whirred. 

"OK." There was a scuffling sound, and Ozzie's equally grubby face peered up at her. "Lucie, get in the Jeep and crank the engine. If it doesn't fire in five seconds, or something goes bang, or I tell you to stop, switch it off. Got that?" 

Lucie nodded. "Got it." 

"Thanks." Ozzie wriggled back under the Jeep and was once more lost to view. 

Lucie climbed into the Jeep, consciously reminding herself that this was a left-hand drive vehicle. Not for the first time, she promised herself that when all this was over, she'd have something to say to the Doctor about his choice of ride — and driver. There had to be a better way of getting across America than cadging a lift in a jalopy that made the TARDIS look reliable, driven by a shaven-headed punk girl who was determined to see the whole thing as a road race. The Doctor had only encouraged Ozzie in this delusion, enthusiastically agreeing with every shortcut she suggested — which was why they were conducting running repairs on a pathway that could only aspire to being a forest track. 

Counting under her breath, Lucie turned the ignition key. _Two. Three. Four..._

With a bone-shaking jolt and a puff of black smoke, the engine roared into life. A moment later, Ozzie and the Doctor had emerged from under the Jeep. 

"All looks good," Ozzie said. "I'll take it from here." 

Lucie wriggled across as Ozzie took the driving seat. The Doctor climbed in beside her. 

"That's got to have been the quickest clutch replacement ever," Ozzie said. She released the parking brake, floored the gas pedal, and the Jeep leapt forward, jolting along the rutted path. "Couldn't have done it without that sonic thingy of yours." 

"We couldn't have done it without your expertise, either," the Doctor said. Lucie cast a sideways glance at him. Somehow, despite having spent the last twenty minutes on his back under a motor vehicle, there was not a speck of oil or dirt on his elaborate Victorian costume. Lucie half-suspected he was doing it deliberately to annoy her. 

"Keeps me out of mischief," Ozzie said. She swerved to avoid a fallen branch. "Someone get the map out, I don't want us to take a wrong turning. Not after all the trouble we've taken getting ahead of those bootleg boys." 

"They're not the ones I'm worried about," Lucie said. "It's that undertaker. Except he can't be a real undertaker, can he?" 

"No, he can't. That hearse has got to be all engine. We'd have left a stock hearse behind before we even got to Dowsonberg Falls. Fu—!" 

The track had been heading uphill, between two deep ditches. Ahead of them, a huge, rounded boulder had come into view, rolling down the track towards them with terrible speed. Ozzie jerked the steering wheel sharply to the left; the jeep shook as something struck it a glancing blow on the right-hand side, and then shuddered to a halt, on a steep tilt. 

"Is everyone all right?" the Doctor asked. 

"Yeah," Lucie said. She realised she was hanging on to Ozzie for dear life, and forced herself to let go. 

"Hang on," Ozzie said. She manipulated various unlabelled controls on her patched-together dashboard, then gunned the engine. The Jeep shuddered, but didn't seem inclined to move. "I think we might be stuck again." 

Lucie groaned. "Not again. Do we have to get out and push, like at wherever that place was?" 

"Harker's Bog," the Doctor said cheerfully. 

"That was a nightmare." Lucie grimaced in recollection. "Makes me want a shower just thinking about it." 

"It won't be as bad for you this time. It isn't raining, for a start." 

"You've been and gone and done it now. Soon as anyone says that it starts to piss down, guaranteed." Lucie closed her eyes. "How many more days are we going to be doing this?" 

"At least two more." Ozzie was tinkering with the traction controls again. "What's the matter, is my driving boring you?" 

"'Boring' definitely isn't the word. I'm just fed up with being bounced round all the time like I'm in a washing machine. And getting oil and stuff on my clothes every time you need me to help you bodge this thing." 

Ozzie flashed her a grin. "Doesn't stop you looking cute. If you gave me the chance I'd definitely give you an innuendo." 

"I suppose that's your way of encouraging me to get out and push. There'd just better not be leeches this time, that's all." 

"I don't think pushing's the answer this time," Ozzie said. "I just need a bit of extra weight over the front axle. Can you two get out on the front bumper?" 

A few moments later, Lucie and the Doctor were clinging precariously to the front of the Jeep, while Ozzie rocked the vehicle forward and back. 

"Doctor, about that rock," Lucie said. From where she was perched, she could see the dents it had left in the Jeep's panels, though it seemed not to have done any worse damage. "That wasn't an accident. Someone must've pushed it." 

The Doctor bounced thoughtfully on the Jeep's front bumper. "I can't argue with that. All the signs are that someone's trying to kill us." 

"Business as usual, then. Probably that undertaker. D'you think we should tell Ozzie?" 

"I think she's got a pretty good idea already." 

"Is that why half the time our road trip's an off-road trip?" 

"That's part of it, certainly. By the way, she suggested that when we get to the Jefferson Motel tonight—" 

" _If_ we get there tonight." 

"— we should all share a room, and take turns to keep watch." 

"Sounds like she's got her head screwed on." Lucie glanced back at the grimy windscreen, through which she could make out Ozzie, her teeth gritted, trying to wrestle the recalcitrant vehicle out of its predicament. "I keep thinking I've met her somewhere. But you'd remember someone like her, wouldn't you?" 

The Doctor gave another bounce. "You know me. Mind like a sieve." 

"You're not kidding." The Jeep suddenly shot forwards, nearly throwing Lucie to the ground; she renewed her grip on the fender. "We're out!" 

"Yee-ha!" Ozzie shouted, as the Jeep scrambled out of the ditch and came to a halt with all four wheels safely on the track. 

"Yee-ha!" the Doctor echoed. He opened the passenger door for Lucie, and helped her into the Jeep. 

"You two have got to be kidding me," Lucie muttered, as the vehicle jerked forward once more. "Oh, what the hell. Yee-ha, then."


End file.
